Imagine, Dream, Live.

Life's full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams!

This was copy and pasted off my notes( just doing this for some reasons)

Today was titis bday we surprised her at her door while me and Paola were waiting quietly outiside the door for mommy to park the car she opened the door and we just yelled surprise!! Haha she go scared :) it was pretty funny! Me and mami were worried that she would have already left to go pick up rebeca from school (me and Paola don't have any all week) and we had gotten there just in time!! :)

Can't wait until this Friday when there is a party (my tio's work) and last year it was very fancy and I loved it! I wish there were a lot more fancy parties and other stuff for me to dress up :) hehe but this one my aunt says is semi formal and there is no need to dress up but I am pretty sure I will wear my black lace Christmas dress? And maybe fill my bag with plastic so I can stuff some food in it hhaha lol cuz last time (2 years ago) when I went there was this huge table filled with all these different candies and sweet treats!! :) lol zzz love it

So dad is leaving to like somewhere in the Bay Area on Monday and he will be working there for three weeks :'( so I asked if maybe we could hang out somewhere on Friday (early) cuz we have to leave to the party the same day at like 4 (starts at 5:30-8:30) so yeah! Maybe the movies or golf -Paola might say no since the last time haha- or shopping!!! Yeah nah cuz we should hang out instead and I really wanna go to get some cute new spring dresses or outfits and some new shoes (those high brown ones at Macy's :( not in my size and sold out and 50% off) ugh.. And some make up maybe head to target for that one I saw some in this magazine I got in the mail on school day ( I have been secretly subscribed by my beastie Isabel) and they are chubby stick, l'oreal stain thing lip gloss, cover girl outlast nail polish, and maybe line whisper <3 lol and that's pretty much it for now :)

Also can't wait for Valerie's bday party on Saturday and I think sleepover :) haha so on Friday I will have to bring cloths for sleepover at Tia's house and then Valeria's party and the again sleepover at Valerie's and cloths for Sunday!! Lol I have to finish my entire persuasive essay on social media is bad because that stupid teacher (she gave me a 79% on my essay that i was proud of so now i have to re do it) I hate so much and her class... Well she isn't even a real teacher she is a student teache pr .-. Ms. Newman I hate her ugh I used to love my English class first semester with mrs Thompson until this girl came in she is a 4'11" Beauty pageant hill billy from yuba city, even though I like that place and placerville. Idk she just isn't good so many reasons why, and many many many people agree! Especially mr stick :(
Anyway I will go now and watch law and order SVU and Chicago fire with my mommy in bed! :) it's like 10:10 pm good night y'all :)

Flakes

About that friend I mentioned and will remain unnamed :) I miss laughing and talking together, hanging out and being so close that we texted almost every single day in 8th grade :) haha and our math class was the best together. Until we left at Arcade and went our separate ways for high school... Or so I thought :)
She is at my school now. And it just didn't seem the Same anymore:) personally I knew that if she left we would end up losing connection and never talking again :| but now it's worse cuz we have nothing to blame for our separation, I'm sure she can tell, but we just can't admit it, e ran out of things to talk about together and it was usually awkward silence. It wasn't always like that though I think we do better after school when I think about it now, I think we are good and I feel like it was stupid to write all this ... Cuz we have hung out so many times after school and they were l internally the best ... I think it is mainly my fault cuz I don't feel comfortable around her or her friends at school... Ugh now that we talk about school and her I start to get that sinking feeling again about how we are not good friends but when I think about or fun times out of her I get happy Nd excited that we are friends!
I think it's cuz I don't feel good about myself.. I am ugly in every way u can think of.. Face= acne, Hair= short and curly-ish and gets poofy, body= Fatt. , umm what else am I missing?.. OOOHH! (Lol the so my thrift shift just came on that made me remember this) my cloths, nothing new or a lot of things that i can wear, every single fucking day I wear jeans jeans jeans!!
Because of all of this I feel self cautious around EVERYONE doing ANYTHING especially her friends who are all so pretty like her.
I could go on but I want to keep all my entry's short so love u all
- literally feeling perfectly Imperfect
P.s plus I want to watch my Wednesday episodes (law and order: SVU & Chicago Fire)

Follow up

So I saw my latest post and so much has changed in so little time! :/ I am no longer friends with that Jaleh thing -.- yeah she said I was annoying so she decided not to talk to me for a while and I totally think that easy very immature thing to do. The she saw me talking to hailey :) she's really cool and nice we have pe and English together then we walk to lunch, and Jaleh doesn't like hailey so she decided not to ever talk to me again, and I had no idea what was going on then so I was just upset and missing the Marci gras dance for other reasons too cuz of this flake of a friend I have -.- oh well. But whatever Jaleh was to quick to judge and not very nice but I though she was cool and liked her... :( one time Brenda said hi to me and I was like hey! :) and when she left Jaleh was like... Why do u talk to her? I don't like her.. And I said why? She just said cuz she didn't I was like have u talked or hung out with her? She said not really but I can just tell I won't like her ... At first I really liked brenna but I started to not like her the more I got to know her! Lol she doesn't talk much.. Idk how to explain it, it's kinda complicated haha and I found out she just wanted to be my partner for everything in French for the answers :( I never wanna talk to that stupid bitchy hoe again.... Or be her partner haha before I used to feel like she liked me and stuff and I would feel bad when I already had a partner and she didn't but now I could not even give a fuck -___-

- you've built a house in my heart and now it's been demolished